Anonymous Story (VII)

"I Left With More Trauma"

I have been inpatient 10 times through ages 13-18. It’s hard to grow up in and out of hospitals, especially psychiatric hospitals. The amount of memories I can remember of patients being treated unjustly is horrifying. I’ve been threatened with medication and restraints for minuscule things like sitting in the wrong room. I’ve witnessed my roommate’s suicide attempt and witnessed multiple kids get manhandled by a dozen grown adults. The unnecessary use of force in psychiatric units is crazy. More than half of the cases I’ve seen could’ve been de-escalated with a simple talk. The abuse in these institutions is horrible. 

 

My own story was in 2019 when I had attempted suicide. I was in a psychiatric unit for about 3 weeks and while I was there I witnessed and had gone through so much. I was better off being at home. I left with more trauma than when I went in. I was sexually assaulted by a staff member and was too afraid to report it. I had seen multiple kids being coded, restrained, and sedated on the daily, including myself. One 13-year-old had been coded 5 times in a day. 

I was terrified for my safety and every night I thought that staff member would come back. So, I kept my head down and waited until I was discharged. I feel for every single person who has been inpatient because even if you haven’t been through something, you’ve seen other patients deal with the unjust treatment. Things definitely need to change sooner rather than later.